The emotional side of caring for a Lupus warrior

So emotions, back when Julie and I met these were not top of my list. Being in the British Army for 15 years knocked all emotions out of me, we compartmentalised everything and emotions where locked away in a box at the back never to see the light of day.

I think all carers need to have, and not be afraid to show, a range of emotions…..except anger. I have to admit that if Julie was in the same situation now as when we met it would have been hard for us, Julie is (and always has been) a deeply emotional and loving person and I was a lump of rock when it came to communication and emotion.

Some would say that caring for a Lupus Warrior is like riding a roller coaster, well I can understand that with all it’s ups and downs, twists and turns, but a roller coaster is easy to manage. Lupus goes way past that and that is why we need emotions.

Unless you allow yourself to show emotion how is your warrior going to know how you are feeling. Some may say “but I have to be strong every day to care for them”, not true. You are allowed to have down days, tired days and frustrated days, and when you do tell your warrior and they will do their best to look after you.

So if, like I used to be, you have trouble with your emotions and feel that showing them will make you less of a man, GROW SOME BALLS, emotions are part of who we are they are what makes us human and not rocks. The other thing is don’t try to change over night, it is better to take baby steps as it will come as a shock to your warrior that you are showing these strange things. They will be wandering what the aliens did with their carer. Don’t worry it will come eventually and you will have a better relationship because of it.

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